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January 2009 
Eros -Where is the Love?
Posted on Jul 22nd, 2007
by 
Sunyata
Sunyata
Eros -Where is the Love?
What is the single most powerful energy system in our human culture? Romantic Love, specifically: Sexual Love, Eros. It is indescriminant and egalitarian in its powerful effects --which often overtake one unawares. Yet with it’s impelling power, Eros Love is most feared by the dominant Patriarchal culture. Suppressed, surviving, thriving, and reemerging, Eros is a vital archetypal energy in our psyche. To the extent we have a healthy harmonious relationship with Eros -we experience vivacious, inspired lives.
Our dominant Patriarchal culture commonly tends to limit “Love” to either Romantic or Familial expressions. For these, there are lots of resources, models, information and guidance. Ultimately even Romantic love is familial love since our culture’s accepted ideal expression of Romantic love results in a “Family.”
Sexual love, Eros, on the other hand, has scant representation -of the type which is a balanced and integrated resource. Eros is denigrated as a “base sexual desire” to be overcome by spiritual advancement --which is a grossly mistaken belief that endangers the health of the adherent. For the vast majority of our species’ existence spirituality and sexuality have been undifferentiated elements in each other‘s domain. Cultural advancements, “progress,” and changes in society’s social constructs have brought changes in attitude and awareness towards sexual love -Eros. Only since Patriarchy’s rise to dominance has sexual love become separated from spirituality. Our ancient ancestors had a profound spiritual relationship with the goddess of Love, which enhanced their lives and harmonized their society. Today, we are living the results of the almost total absence of healthy sexual, Eros Love resources readily (and unashamedly) available to the community.
Without Eros-love fully present there is an imbalance; with attention to the other expression of love in our culture: “Mother-love.” Traditionally, our culture has suggested that Eros-love is fulfilled in sex within marriage. However, we see the results of the over-emphasis on Mother-love in the family and marriage dynamics -the result of which is a attenuation of Eros-love and when it is expressed it is distorted into profane-love; demeaned base sexual desire. Being a Mother lasts a lifetime but living with only “Mother-love” sexuality is imbalanced and saps vitality from living.
“The repression of sexual desire damages the basic physical center of self respect, it damages one’s sense of goodness of the body and makes people ashamed of their bodily feelings.” Mary Hugh Scott, The Passion of Being Woman.
Patriarchy teaches women that to give into their sexual desire without being married -or at least “in love,“ is promiscuous and “sinful” and demeans such women as “fornicators,” or “adulterers.” When in fact, being unable to use one’s sexual desires is a disability -a sin against the soul‘s full expression and vitality. Patriarchy demands a woman silence her adult sexual-erotic passion -it’s only outlet in demeaned sexual “fetish” expressions.
Patriarchy asserts that sexual desire needs validation in a contracted agreement to be acceptable. Of course its wonderful to be in love and have sex as an expression of that love, and its also great to have sex just for the fun of it. The important thing is to know the difference -and have the ability to choose (without social repercussion).
Whether religious or secular, patriarchal authority teaches that life lived in the spirit is higher, nobler, and more virtuous than life lived in the body. However, the reverse is in fact the path to higher consciousness and evolved spirituality. It is through the irreplaceable joy of the body and delight in the most profound of bodily pleasures that Spirit is experienced in its fullness.
The Patriarchal contract of monogamous marriage with its imposition of “sexual fidelity” cripples the spirit of both sexes while it ignores personal autonomy and sexual sovereignty. In attempting to create a secure and “safe” love, (enforced by contract) an erosion of love actually occurs, draining the relationship of vitality and energy.
Patriarchal love, as expressed in monogamous marriage (or any form of contracted agreement), is limiting and repressive of erotic love. Patriarchal love in this context is “modest” and domesticated, it is controllable, manageable, self-serving.
“Eros love contains double passion -the passion of the feminine and the passion of the masculine. It is other oriented yet nourishes and gratifies the self. There is nothing “reasonable” about it; it is irrational, beyond law and logic, and it is sent by the god of love.” --ibid.
Eros Love calls us to experience a paradox, the mystical union of flesh and spirit -the mystery of eternal love embodied in human flesh. To yield to Eros love’s passion, to give yourself fully in impassioned embrace and to be ravished open by another’s erotic passion for you is your own unique experience of the unlimited glory of the unconditional love of divine spirit.
“Passionate love is the strongest most enduring basis for a deep, personal relationship between a man and a woman.” --ibid.
Without Eros, a couple is left to mine mutual interests for the “juice” in their relationship (not the least of which is child-rearing) and when those run out or grow old or are not enough anymore “problems” take the place of mutual interests for attention and focus -to distract themselves from facing the lack of erotic love in the relationship.
Love without Eros is unconscious to its full potential and progenerative force and lacks vitality and abundance and transformational power. Patriarchy teaches spirit is separate from the flesh and that a person can’t be both spiritual and sexual -and certainly not at the same time. Women are taught to ignore their sexual desires and ignore their sexual body --along with any yearnings for their body to just be held or hold another. Men are conditioned to ignore their desire for intimacy and deep feelings. The body however, is a reservoir of feelings and is a sacred place, a temple of divine spirit, and the proper container for feelings of erotic love.
The transformative and transmutative nature of erotic love develops our psyche beyond any other natural occurring experience -in a completely free, uncontrolled and organic way. In order for this to happen, sexuality needs to have the ability to be freely expressed consciously, passionately, and individually. Without passionate, erotic, sexual expression the spirit slowly erodes into mediocrity, stagnation and death. Eros love cannot exist in a climate of control and neither can spirit. Eros love comes from “beyond knowing,” from beyond control and contractual agreement, from the extraordinary power that is the center of the universe and cause of all life.
Eros love’s purpose is to elevate us beyond mundane existence to levels of consciousness and spiritual awareness that embody spirit and love and guide us through life with passion and vitality in each moment. Out of this condition comes a sense of fulfillment in life with “juice” and passion for living. It provides us the emotions of: happiness, gratifying collaboration/co-creation, and worship of spirit and devotion to divinity realized in all things. Such conscious passion provides the best way to grow beyond the Patriarchal design for relationship (seeing “father” or “mother” in the other mate). Eros provides the good feelings about the self that produce the courage to be a sovereign individual with human autonomy and personal intimacy.
Eros love produces pleasure and this is where the fear in Patriarchal culture is revealed. Patriarchy fears sexual pleasure --Eros’ power to transform and enlighten all who partake of it. Patriarchy requires loyal unconscious obedience and leaves no room for independent unpredictable inspiration and the soul nourishing self esteem that Eros engenders. Patriarchal pleasure is limited to cerebral and ideological fulfillment and denied to the body. It therefore cuts off the purest felt sensation of divinity and regulates spirituality through thought. This is a shallow spirituality devoid of grounded connection and relevance.
Pleasure is an emotion that cannot be so controlled. It is expressed through the body and transforms consciousness, inspires and connects us to spirit. We are physical-spiritual beings and it is through the body, specifically bodily pleasure, that we experience our spirit nature expressed most fully. Pleasure is an emotion that feeds many aspects of life with enthusiasm and open anticipation. When we are feeling the fullness and fulfillment of pleasure, we experience fullness of pleasure in multiple aspects of life like: reasoning, self-reflection, inventive-creative activities. We enjoy planning, adventure and imagination; and the pleasure of the physical poetry of our bodies with gusto and delight. Pleasure is its own reward; we are created to experience pleasure. When pleasure is readily available -society thrives and evolves into higher expressions of creativity, benevolence and connectedness.
Patriarchal “pleasure” is a shadow of it’s potential fullness and suppresses those subject to it. For pairs (couples) to foster Eros and continue to experience its vivifying, passionate, transformative effects each individual must have sovereignty and autonomy over their sexual body and desires --and the fulfillment of those desires. This would mean a greater liberation for today’s women, allowing them full sexual autonomy and power. It would also include a community which fosters and supports such sovereignty. A community which is thus openly loving through touch and communication via art, dance, movement, and transpersonal sexual service, thrives in cultural-spiritual evolutionary growth.
Eros fosters intense pleasure which ravishes our psyche (soul) open to sweet passionate love and connection to spirit. Eros Love nourishes our soul by feeding passion into life, making us feel more of life and more connected to life, moment by moment. Eros Love occasions feeling the power of passionate masculine love with passionate feminine love --in it we rejoice in our sexuality and bodies as the human-divine. Eros is vitally important to our psychological health and social-spiritual evolution. To the degree we feel free to express and receive Eros in healthy unashamed ways --we experience vivacious inspired lives and communities.
Sunyata Satchitananda
sunyataji@gmail.com
What is the single most powerful energy system in our human culture? Romantic Love, specifically: Sexual Love, Eros. It is indescriminant and egalitarian in its powerful effects --which often overtake one unawares. Yet with it’s impelling power, Eros Love is most feared by the dominant Patriarchal culture. Suppressed, surviving, thriving, and reemerging, Eros is a vital archetypal energy in our psyche. To the extent we have a healthy harmonious relationship with Eros -we experience vivacious, inspired lives.
Our dominant Patriarchal culture commonly tends to limit “Love” to either Romantic or Familial expressions. For these, there are lots of resources, models, information and guidance. Ultimately even Romantic love is familial love since our culture’s accepted ideal expression of Romantic love results in a “Family.”
Sexual love, Eros, on the other hand, has scant representation -of the type which is a balanced and integrated resource. Eros is denigrated as a “base sexual desire” to be overcome by spiritual advancement --which is a grossly mistaken belief that endangers the health of the adherent. For the vast majority of our species’ existence spirituality and sexuality have been undifferentiated elements in each other‘s domain. Cultural advancements, “progress,” and changes in society’s social constructs have brought changes in attitude and awareness towards sexual love -Eros. Only since Patriarchy’s rise to dominance has sexual love become separated from spirituality. Our ancient ancestors had a profound spiritual relationship with the goddess of Love, which enhanced their lives and harmonized their society. Today, we are living the results of the almost total absence of healthy sexual, Eros Love resources readily (and unashamedly) available to the community.
Without Eros-love fully present there is an imbalance; with attention to the other expression of love in our culture: “Mother-love.” Traditionally, our culture has suggested that Eros-love is fulfilled in sex within marriage. However, we see the results of the over-emphasis on Mother-love in the family and marriage dynamics -the result of which is a attenuation of Eros-love and when it is expressed it is distorted into profane-love; demeaned base sexual desire. Being a Mother lasts a lifetime but living with only “Mother-love” sexuality is imbalanced and saps vitality from living.
“The repression of sexual desire damages the basic physical center of self respect, it damages one’s sense of goodness of the body and makes people ashamed of their bodily feelings.” Mary Hugh Scott, The Passion of Being Woman.
Patriarchy teaches women that to give into their sexual desire without being married -or at least “in love,“ is promiscuous and “sinful” and demeans such women as “fornicators,” or “adulterers.” When in fact, being unable to use one’s sexual desires is a disability -a sin against the soul‘s full expression and vitality. Patriarchy demands a woman silence her adult sexual-erotic passion -it’s only outlet in demeaned sexual “fetish” expressions.
Patriarchy asserts that sexual desire needs validation in a contracted agreement to be acceptable. Of course its wonderful to be in love and have sex as an expression of that love, and its also great to have sex just for the fun of it. The important thing is to know the difference -and have the ability to choose (without social repercussion).
Whether religious or secular, patriarchal authority teaches that life lived in the spirit is higher, nobler, and more virtuous than life lived in the body. However, the reverse is in fact the path to higher consciousness and evolved spirituality. It is through the irreplaceable joy of the body and delight in the most profound of bodily pleasures that Spirit is experienced in its fullness.
The Patriarchal contract of monogamous marriage with its imposition of “sexual fidelity” cripples the spirit of both sexes while it ignores personal autonomy and sexual sovereignty. In attempting to create a secure and “safe” love, (enforced by contract) an erosion of love actually occurs, draining the relationship of vitality and energy.
Patriarchal love, as expressed in monogamous marriage (or any form of contracted agreement), is limiting and repressive of erotic love. Patriarchal love in this context is “modest” and domesticated, it is controllable, manageable, self-serving.
“Eros love contains double passion -the passion of the feminine and the passion of the masculine. It is other oriented yet nourishes and gratifies the self. There is nothing “reasonable” about it; it is irrational, beyond law and logic, and it is sent by the god of love.” --ibid.
Eros Love calls us to experience a paradox, the mystical union of flesh and spirit -the mystery of eternal love embodied in human flesh. To yield to Eros love’s passion, to give yourself fully in impassioned embrace and to be ravished open by another’s erotic passion for you is your own unique experience of the unlimited glory of the unconditional love of divine spirit.
“Passionate love is the strongest most enduring basis for a deep, personal relationship between a man and a woman.” --ibid.
Without Eros, a couple is left to mine mutual interests for the “juice” in their relationship (not the least of which is child-rearing) and when those run out or grow old or are not enough anymore “problems” take the place of mutual interests for attention and focus -to distract themselves from facing the lack of erotic love in the relationship.
Love without Eros is unconscious to its full potential and progenerative force and lacks vitality and abundance and transformational power. Patriarchy teaches spirit is separate from the flesh and that a person can’t be both spiritual and sexual -and certainly not at the same time. Women are taught to ignore their sexual desires and ignore their sexual body --along with any yearnings for their body to just be held or hold another. Men are conditioned to ignore their desire for intimacy and deep feelings. The body however, is a reservoir of feelings and is a sacred place, a temple of divine spirit, and the proper container for feelings of erotic love.
The transformative and transmutative nature of erotic love develops our psyche beyond any other natural occurring experience -in a completely free, uncontrolled and organic way. In order for this to happen, sexuality needs to have the ability to be freely expressed consciously, passionately, and individually. Without passionate, erotic, sexual expression the spirit slowly erodes into mediocrity, stagnation and death. Eros love cannot exist in a climate of control and neither can spirit. Eros love comes from “beyond knowing,” from beyond control and contractual agreement, from the extraordinary power that is the center of the universe and cause of all life.
Eros love’s purpose is to elevate us beyond mundane existence to levels of consciousness and spiritual awareness that embody spirit and love and guide us through life with passion and vitality in each moment. Out of this condition comes a sense of fulfillment in life with “juice” and passion for living. It provides us the emotions of: happiness, gratifying collaboration/co-creation, and worship of spirit and devotion to divinity realized in all things. Such conscious passion provides the best way to grow beyond the Patriarchal design for relationship (seeing “father” or “mother” in the other mate). Eros provides the good feelings about the self that produce the courage to be a sovereign individual with human autonomy and personal intimacy.
Eros love produces pleasure and this is where the fear in Patriarchal culture is revealed. Patriarchy fears sexual pleasure --Eros’ power to transform and enlighten all who partake of it. Patriarchy requires loyal unconscious obedience and leaves no room for independent unpredictable inspiration and the soul nourishing self esteem that Eros engenders. Patriarchal pleasure is limited to cerebral and ideological fulfillment and denied to the body. It therefore cuts off the purest felt sensation of divinity and regulates spirituality through thought. This is a shallow spirituality devoid of grounded connection and relevance.
Pleasure is an emotion that cannot be so controlled. It is expressed through the body and transforms consciousness, inspires and connects us to spirit. We are physical-spiritual beings and it is through the body, specifically bodily pleasure, that we experience our spirit nature expressed most fully. Pleasure is an emotion that feeds many aspects of life with enthusiasm and open anticipation. When we are feeling the fullness and fulfillment of pleasure, we experience fullness of pleasure in multiple aspects of life like: reasoning, self-reflection, inventive-creative activities. We enjoy planning, adventure and imagination; and the pleasure of the physical poetry of our bodies with gusto and delight. Pleasure is its own reward; we are created to experience pleasure. When pleasure is readily available -society thrives and evolves into higher expressions of creativity, benevolence and connectedness.
Patriarchal “pleasure” is a shadow of it’s potential fullness and suppresses those subject to it. For pairs (couples) to foster Eros and continue to experience its vivifying, passionate, transformative effects each individual must have sovereignty and autonomy over their sexual body and desires --and the fulfillment of those desires. This would mean a greater liberation for today’s women, allowing them full sexual autonomy and power. It would also include a community which fosters and supports such sovereignty. A community which is thus openly loving through touch and communication via art, dance, movement, and transpersonal sexual service, thrives in cultural-spiritual evolutionary growth.
Eros fosters intense pleasure which ravishes our psyche (soul) open to sweet passionate love and connection to spirit. Eros Love nourishes our soul by feeding passion into life, making us feel more of life and more connected to life, moment by moment. Eros Love occasions feeling the power of passionate masculine love with passionate feminine love --in it we rejoice in our sexuality and bodies as the human-divine. Eros is vitally important to our psychological health and social-spiritual evolution. To the degree we feel free to express and receive Eros in healthy unashamed ways --we experience vivacious inspired lives and communities.
Sunyata Satchitananda
sunyataji@gmail.com
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